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Atonement of Secrets تاوان راز ها

Atonement of Secrets تاوان راز ها

Farahnaz Salehi is the winner of the archipelago‘s inaugural Art and Photography Competition for her work: Atonement of Secrets تاوان راز ها


Farahnaz wins publication and 3,000,000 IDR to support her artistic development.


Artist’s Statement:

“Alas!! She is a girl with pure heart and emotions.
Fragile like a glass, careful like a mother
Responsibilities on her shoulders, her patience across the limits.
Alas!! She has got a very soft heart that forgives you so easily, she is as forgiving as God is to humans.
Oh her kind heart, she has been very broken and still is but nothing has changed her kind heart.
Her hand feels frozen with the spell and her feet feels grounded as she is carrying the planet Earth.
You don’t know how it feels,
To carry all the broken pieces of you with all the cruel rules for you.
A free woman who understands herself:
Life is not entirely mania, she has many dreams.
Women are not just about sex and giving birth.
She has finally realized her beauty and all her strength.
Time will come for her, to take off her roots from where they planted her and plant herself again.

Art is my language, though silent but it is very powerful. It is art that can heal my pain and revive my faith for life. When you are pushed into darkness you are forced to venture out in search of a beam of hope.

I grew up in Indonesia with all the challenges of being a refugee. Although, I am miles away from my home country but there are my friends that keep me so connected. I am one of the luckiest, who has grown up learning about many things about life including understanding myself better and the reality about me. The most important lesson I have learned was kindness and being humble. Most of the lessons were so difficult and still are.

I sometimes talk to my friends just to exchange some words. In between our talks I feel much pain in their voices and how they are disappointed in being known as a gender not human beings. They sometimes tell me how it feels the way they’re treated. I believe every single action matters, we should accept the responsibilities.

One of my friends who got married 2 year ago. We normally talk to each other about anything. One day in between our talks she told me that, “I have been trying not to say it but I can’t do it anymore.”

I felt a lot about her sentence as she was telling me the tone in her voice had changed. That was where I felt the hidden pain in her.

Then I asked, “why sweetheart?”

She replied “I can’t leave my man and I am not happy either” then she stopped herself.

She couldn’t tell me all the pain that she was carrying on her shoulders. Thoughts in her mind and fears in her voice then I realized that in Afghanistan people don’t give full authority to a woman. This action may not be just in Afghanistan but in so many other countries too. Men keep women blind and deaf. Because they know if a woman knows about their rights they won’t be silent, for sure they can stand strong without a man standing behind them.

As a human being not a female gender I do feel so much pain when I see this much inequality. However, people should struggle and find a way to help themselves. No one on this planet meant to live a life filled with sad stories and darkness. I am very happy that my art can make me feel a little better and grow wisely.” Farahnaz Salehi


مادرم دختر ماهی دارد
آسمان شال نگین‌دار من است
آ‌ینه با همه‌‌‌ی آیینش
یک‌دهن خنده بدهکار من است

بغض دارد دل من، می‌ترکد
نکند طعم غذا شور شود
هیچ می‌دانی چه حسی دارد
زن آزاده که مجبور شود؟
زن آزاده که مجبور شود‌‌ـ
تن به مردی که نخواهد بدهد
تن به مردی که جواب لبخند
گاه اگر داد به ابجد بدهد

زن آزاده‌ که خود می‌فهمد:
زندگی یک‌سره شیدایی‌ نیست
آرزو‌های فراوان دارد
زن فقط سکس و پسر‌زایی‌ نیست

غم بیکاری شوهر بخورد
غم بیماری مادر بخورد
غم غم‌های برادر بخورد
مثل سیگار پدر در بخورد

تیغ‌ها در هوس طعم لبش
دوستان دشنه‌به‌کف در عقبش
قرص‌ها کم نتوانند تبش
ماه هم رفته از ایوان شبش
زن سیگاری هرزه لقبش

جای آغوش نوازشگر عشق
تکیه بر دوش مترسک بزند
از سر عاطفه‌‌ مادری‌اش
شانه بر گیس عروسک بزند

ناگهان حوصله‌اش سر برود
دست در دست جنون بگذارد
بشکند غیرت افغانی را
پای از خانه برون بگذارد

تهمت اهل گذر منتظرش
گرگ‌ها در پس در منتظرش
راه تاریک و سفر منتظرش
جاده در جاده خطر منتظرش
چون کسی نیست دگر منتظرش

می‌رود گور خودش را بکند
پشت این شعر که نا‌تکمیل است
کِز کند کنجی و خوابش ببرد
آشپزخانه دگر تعطیل است

دید بسیار شد این قصه‌‌ پوچ
خواست بر صورتش آبی بزند
پیرهن از گل پیچک به تن و
رُژِ پررنگ گلابی بزند

باد را شانه کند موهایم
دو پرنده بپرد از یخنم
مثل پروانه برقصم نفسی
ریشه از آن‌چه گذشته بکنم.



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